Rejected again ?

Embracing Rejection: A Path to Better Social Connections

Introduction

Rejection is a common fear that many of us face, especially when it comes to social interactions. However, embracing rejection can be a powerful way to build better social connections, which in turn can open doors to numerous opportunities, from landing a great job to finding a romantic partner. This article is designed to help you navigate this journey, just as I would guide my own children, and as I do with my students here in China.

The Importance of Social Connections

Social connections are at the heart of many positive outcomes in life. They provide support, opportunities, and enrich our lives in countless ways. Whether it's networking for a job or meeting a potential life partner, the ability to connect with others is invaluable. I discuss this often with my kids—one more outgoing and the other more reserved—emphasizing that developing social skills is essential for a fulfilling life.

A Personal Approach to Connection

If you're reading this on my teaching website, it's likely you're one of my students. I want to share a method that has helped me, and could help you, become more socially connected and confident. When I first came to China, I struggled to make friends. I decided to change that by pushing myself out of my comfort zone, a strategy I now propose to you through a simple but effective exercise.

The WeChat Group Challenge

Here's what I suggest: let's form a WeChat group with you and your friends who are interested in improving their social skills. Our goal will be to engage in a fun, yet challenging activity that will help you overcome shyness and make more friends.

here is another challenge that may help you - Power Posing Challenge.

The Canteen Game

The game is straightforward: go to the canteen and try to sit with someone you don't know. If they agree and you eat together, take a picture and post it in our WeChat group. If they say "no," you earn one point. The rationale is to seek out rejections, thus removing the fear of hearing "no." You'll be surprised at how often people will say "yes," and you'll end up making new friends.

Why This Works

For many, especially boys who are shy or looking to talk to girls, this game can be particularly beneficial. The more you practice, the more confident and relaxed you'll become, increasing the chances of a positive response. Some students who have already played this game have shared that it wasn't as difficult as they thought, it was fun, and it boosted their confidence. Remember, this isn't a one-time exercise; the more you do it, the better you'll become.

My Experience

When I arrived in China, I wasn't making many friends. This exercise changed my life. Now, I can't eat in the canteen without making a new friend. If you see me alone in the canteen, it's likely because someone said "no" or left quickly due to shyness about conversing in English with me.

A Message to My Kids and Students

What I want my kids—and you—to understand is that developing your social skills and building a broad network (both professional and personal) gives you options. If you're shy and have few contacts, you might end up in a relationship with the first person who shows interest, without exploring other possibilities. This approach limits your ability to make well-informed decisions. By expanding your social circle, you give yourself more options and better chances to make choices that truly align with your desires and goals.

Conclusion

Rejection can be daunting, but it's also a pathway to growth and better social connections. By embracing the possibility of rejection, you can build confidence, make new friends, and open doors to new opportunities. Join our WeChat group, participate in the canteen game, and let's transform our social lives together. Remember, the more you practice, the better you'll become. Let's have fun and grow together!

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